Complete infiltration

If you were to look at my family room at the end of a typical day, this is what you might see:

Now keep in mind that this is just one small corner of one room and yet it gives somewhat of a sense of the chaos that a two year old can cause during an hour or two of play (I do actually tidy things up a few times during the day!). As I go through all the rooms in the house gathering toys, wiping sticky fingerprints off of every surface and trying to stay caught up with the seemingly endless laundry, it occurs to me that my house used to be peaceful, relatively clean, clutter-free and even modestly tasteful in its decor.

My newfound mess and colourful plastic accessories seem to be a fitting metaphor for the way young children completely take over every aspect of your life.

From the minute the stick turns pink, a child begins an incremental and total infiltration of his or her parents. Throughout pregnancy the little being is literally taking over your body but is also working on your heart and mind as you grow more and more attached and obsess over every twinge and butterfly movement. Of course the moment your baby emerges into the world emotions and life disruption are ratcheted to a whole new level. I don't need to list the many ways in which your house, sleep schedule, social life, marriage and personal time are instantly thrown into chaos.

When your child reaches toddlerhood, the daily pace is simply overwhelming. In my household, we're usually up by 6:30 or 7:00am and the next 12 or 13 hours are non-stop activity from my toddler (with the exception of the blissful hour and a half naptime after lunch... without which I would be lost).

But it's not just activity - it's constant conversation. Narration. I hear about every single step he takes and have to answer questions about pretty much every aspect of his day as well. It is mentally exhausting just keeping up with the chatter of a day. When we get out with another parent and child for a play date I always hope for a bit of adult conversation. I challenge you to try for meaningful interraction while 'watching' several toddlers play together. It's quite easy to spend two hours with a good friend and come home only to realize I learned nothing about the other person's recent life activitites and also can't remember if we talked about anything other than our children's immediate behaviour and needs. Yes, once toddlerhood is reached, it is even harder to retreat into deep thought or introspection on any topic. No wonder so many moms talk about their brains turning to mush.

As my two boys have grown, their complete domination of our time, house and lives continues to amaze me. Yes, my husband and I did eventually get to sleep again and have figured out ways to sneak in some adult socializing and even the occasional date night or times to pursue some of our own old interests, but life will surely never be the same again. (And we have yet to experience anything beyond the toddler years!)

In spite of this (and maybe because of the total life infiltration), it is hard to imagine not having these little people around. There is not much in life as wonderful or rewarding as getting to know someone who depends on you completely and watching their personality change and grow. It's difficult to think of loving anything as intensely either.

No, life will surely never be the same again. We willl never be the same either. And maybe that's a good thing.